New Years Resolution
by DarkTaoAngel
Summary: Ren thinks towards a new year, and finds only one resolution to make for it. But with his friends there, will he be able to begin a new life, by ending his old one? Oneshot. Happy Birthday Ren!


DarkTaoAngel: This is a New Years and Happy Birthday fan fiction dedicated to Tao Ren! Happy Birthday Ren! I do not own Shaman King, and there are no pairings in this story, only Ren!

It was a cold night, as fireworks shot off in the sky above, celebrating an annual holiday. Everyone in the town were huddled in a crowd, awaiting the countdown to the New Year. Cheers could be heard from far away; New Years resolutions were being made, and a joyous air filled the sky. Nary a soul was not joining in on the celebrating, except for one. The silhouette of a single figure could barely be seen against the heavy blow of snow from above, staring away from the crowd. This person was not celebrating; quite on the contrary, Tao Ren had nothing he wished to celebrate.

Ren looked down at his watch; only one hour from midnight. Only one hour until this year ends, and a new one begins. Though it was quite an exciting time for many, the New Year was always hated be Ren. Not only was it the beginning of yet another pointless year, it was also Ren's birthday.

The anniversary of his birth, a time in which most people would be happy for. But not Ren; his birthday meant that he had just barely survived another year of his constantly tormented life. Although he believed that it would be all the better now that he had friends, Ren still could not cope with all that he had done before so. His life was far from perfect, it was empty. Sure, he had made it this far, but how long until he snapped and went back to his old life? This day was one of the few times when his friends could do nothing to help him, he had to help himself. But with each passing year, it became harder for Ren to deal with it all. At one time in his life, he was able to vent all of his anger on anything he wanted in order to prevent himself from losing control, but now was different.

Ren sighed and looked above him. The stars were beautiful tonight. He remembered when he had first met Yoh Asakura, at one of the best stargazing places in all of Funburi Hill. He had thought that Yoh's idea that 'everything would work out' was true, and that, perhaps, he could overcome his past and live a new life. And he had thought that same thing even more strongly when he had finally defeated his father. But now that another year had gone by, and his past still tormented him, Ren felt as though not even that was enough to help him forget all of his past. And his birthday was even worse; his life had been so hard, and it had all started with his birth.

_I can escape my past no longer. There is no way I can forget the horrors that I have experienced. They were all caused by me, and no one else can help me defeat them. I have to end this, on my own._

Ren took another glance at his watch. Half of an hour had elapsed, and nothing had changed. The countdown to the New Year would begin soon, and if he had to live this year the same as the last, Ren would certainly crack.

In town, many people were making their New Years resolutions. Ways to make things they would like to improve, and ways to make themselves better. Everyone had something that they would ring in the New Year with. Ren wondered what he would do for the New Year, as it seemed much too late to change his life completely. But there was a way to end his misery, a way to ensure that nothing that had happened to him, and to all around him because what he had done, would ever happen again.

Now only ten minutes left until Ren's birthday. There was so much he wished he could end, so many wrongs he needed to make right. But he could not, all he could do was prevent them from happening in the next year.

_It is far too late to turn back now. What I have done was wrong, and I can not erase what has happened. But I can ensue that it never happens again. And so I make finally my New Years resolution, to never having to live through it all over again._

And with that, Ren took the Tao family's sword from the inside of his coat. He smiled once more before slashing it across his left wrist. And as blood scattered all over the pure white snow, Ren vowed to make this his best birthday ever. Now he would never have to feel the pain of his life, the pain that came with being born into his family. But he did not blame them, because there was a way to free himself of it all. And although this was his final option, it was all he could do.

Ren looked up to the stars one more time before everything went black, and he heard shouts in the distance. It must have been his friends, coming to help him. But little did they know, Ren did not desire their help any longer. He collapsed on the ground as his breath ran short. After that, he could feel nothing.

Yoh, Anna, Morty, and Horo were standing at the foot of a long bed. Judging by the white sheets, and the medicine containers scattering the desks, it was a hospital room. A steady beat could be heard from a machine to the left of the bed. The patient of the room was sleeping soundly.

Suddenly, the machine next to the bed changed its tempo as golden eyes stop open. The purple hair that unmistakably belonged to a certain Tao Ren was limp, hanging down by his shoulders as he fought to sit up against an array of odd medical devices. Finally, he gave up and surrendered to laying back down. He glanced around the room with a terrified look upon his face, as his eyes searched for any trace of where he was. He was scared, and it showed severely on his handsome face. He tried to jump back up again, but the hand of the person closest to his bed caught him and he immediately fell back onto the bed. He looked up at the face and saw, to his relief, a familiar set of mahogany eyes. Though he knew whom they belonged, the expression on his face was far from what was to be expected. There was a look of concern in Yoh's eyes, one that showed Ren not to fight him, but to just relax. Ren made a move to question him, but Yoh just silenced him and began to speak directly to him.

"Ren, just calm down. You know where you are? You're in the hospital. You cut your wrist, and lucky for you, the vein wasn't reached. The doctor thinks you are going to be fine, and I think I know why you did what you did," Ren averted his gaze away from Yoh's piercing eyes. He was ashamed that he had found out, ashamed that he had to be seen in such a weak moment, and ashamed that his plan had not succeeded. Yoh, however, gave a slight smile as he continued speaking. "The doctor said that only four people could be allowed in to see you at a time, and so we were the first to come. The others are outside, and I am sure they would like to see you as well." Ren looked around the room and saw a few other familiar faces. Again, he was ashamed that they had to see him like this.

Yoh seemed to catch on to what Ren was thinking, because his eyes once again bore the look of immense worry. Ren looked at him straight in the eye again to assure him that he was fine, but Yoh was not easily fooled.

"Listen Ren, I know what you did, and I know why. This has been a tough time for you, hasn't it? And now that another year has gone by, it just seems like there is no point in living if it is going to be just like the last. But you know what? I think this is going to be a great year! Besides, no matter what happens this year, you can count on us, your friends, to help you through the tough times. And I know that this was not just about New Years. I know that it is your birthday today as well." Yoh smiled a bit, but not very much considering Ren looked as if he was not in the mood.

"How did you—?"

"Jun told me." Ren looked to his door to see his sister, waving and smiling at him, although she too had the same look as Yoh upon her face. The look of concern. Ren felt a bit bad to see them like this, not acting like themselves at all. But he shook that feeling off for just a moment as someone spoke to him, and this time it was not Yoh, but Horo.

"And, Ren, Happy Birthday, although you can't really say that this is a very happy day for you. We all understand." He looked down at the floor. Apparently, the way Ren had treated him all this time had really effected him. And it made Ren think, _what if everyone really does care? They do certainly looked worried, and they act like it as well. And they ever took the time to come and see me. Perhaps I am lucky that my plan did not work. Even Anna came to see me._

It was true; Anna was there, right next to Yoh. And she actually had abandoned her icy mood to look kinder than usual, which was a sure sign that she cared.

_Maybe they all do care. And maybe, even if I do have to go through all of the past year over again, they can help me to survive it again. My friends._

He looked straight at Horo, and then at Yoh. They all cared for him so much, and he had behaved to rudely to them all. It was his turn to speak to them now.

"Nonsense. I think this has been the best birthday I have ever had. Thanks to all of you, of course." And just to see all of their faces turn from sadness to smiles of great joy, was well worth living for.


End file.
